Tips for Moving Internationally with Children: Making the Transition Smoother
Moving internationally can be a significant disruption and source of stress for children of all ages. Leaving behind friends, school, and familiar surroundings for a new country with a different culture and possibly language requires careful planning and sensitivity. Open communication, involving them in the process, and maintaining routines can help ease the transition and make it a more positive adventure.
Before the Move: Preparing Your Children
- Talk About It Early and Often: Don't spring the move on them. Explain why you're moving to the U.S. in age-appropriate terms as early as possible. Discuss what changes to expect and listen to their concerns and feelings without judgment. Use maps, books, and online resources to show them where the U.S. is and specifically where you'll be living (e.g., Cresskill, New Jersey).
- Focus on the Positives & Manage Expectations: Highlight exciting aspects of the move – new experiences, potential travel opportunities, specific attractions near your new home, maybe even new foods or activities. Be realistic about challenges too (like missing friends or adjusting to a new school).
- Involve Them (Age Appropriately): Let children participate in decisions where possible. Maybe they can help choose items to pack for their room, select books or games about the U.S., or help research fun things to do in New Jersey or nearby New York City. Giving them some control helps them feel invested.
- Research Kid-Friendly Aspects Together: Look up potential schools (enrollment guide here), parks, playgrounds, libraries, sports teams, or activities in your new U.S. town online. Show them pictures or virtual tours if available.
- Address School Concerns: Talk specifically about the new school system. Reassure them about making new friends and learning new things. If there's a language difference, discuss plans for language support (ESL classes).
- Plan Meaningful Goodbyes: Allow ample time for kids to say proper goodbyes to friends, family, teachers, favorite places, and even pets staying behind. Consider a small farewell party or creating a scrapbook/memory box with photos and contact information.
- Learn Basic English Phrases (If Applicable): If moving to an English-speaking environment from a non-English speaking one, practice some basic phrases together as a family.
- Visit if Possible: A pre-move visit to the new town and potential school, while often difficult internationally, can significantly reduce anxiety by making the unknown more familiar.
During the Move: Travel & Arrival
- Maintain Routines as Much as Possible: During the packing chaos and travel days, try to stick to familiar meal times, bedtimes, and simple routines to provide a sense of stability.
- Pack a "Comfort Kit" Carry-On for Each Child: Include their favorite small toys, books, comfort items (blanket, stuffed animal), snacks they like, basic toiletries, pajamas, a change of clothes, and any necessary medications. Keep this easily accessible during travel and upon arrival.
- Manage Travel Stress: Long flights can be tough. Pack activities, download movies/games onto devices, bring headphones, and plan for managing jet lag upon arrival. Explain the travel process to them beforehand.
- Moving Day Safety: On the actual moving days (packing up and moving into the new place), try to arrange for childcare or keep children occupied in a safe area away from the heavy lifting, open doors, and general commotion.
After the Move: Settling into the U.S.
- Set Up Their Room First: Prioritize unpacking and setting up their bedroom to make it feel familiar and comfortable as quickly as possible. Let them help arrange their belongings. Familiar bedding, posters, and toys can make a big difference.
- Explore Your New Home & Community Together: Make exploring the new house, yard, neighborhood, parks, library (Cresskill Library), and local fun spots a family activity. (See Settling In guide).
- Connect with the School Early: Visit the school before the first day if possible. Introduce yourselves to the teacher, counselor, and principal. Attend any orientation events. Learn about school routines and expectations (enrollment guide).
- Facilitate Friendships: Encourage joining school clubs, local sports teams (check Cresskill Recreation), or community activities based on their interests. Arrange playdates if opportunities arise. Acknowledge that making new friends takes time.
- Validate Their Feelings: Moving internationally is a huge change. Expect a range of emotions – excitement, sadness, anxiety, anger, confusion. Acknowledge their feelings, listen actively, and provide extra reassurance, patience, and one-on-one time. Don't dismiss feelings of homesickness.
- Help Maintain Connections: Facilitate video calls, emails, or letter writing with close friends and family back home. This helps bridge the distance.
- Navigate Cultural Differences Together: Discuss observations about American culture (see Cultural Adjustment guide). Help them understand differences in communication, school norms, or social interactions. Be a role model for curiosity and adaptability.
Create a Moving Story or Scrapbook: Help children document the entire moving journey – saying goodbye, the travel, the new home, first experiences in the U.S. This can be a therapeutic and positive way to process the big change.
Watch for Signs of Adjustment Difficulty: Significant changes in behavior (withdrawal, aggression), sleep patterns, appetite, academic performance, or persistent sadness/anxiety might indicate difficulty coping. Talk to your child, offer support, speak with their teacher or school counselor, and seek professional guidance from a doctor or child therapist if concerns persist.
